“The Look”

What is “the look,” as I call it?  Its that look women have been known to give men when they feel the guy is leering at them.  I’ve seen it plenty of times over my life, primarily aimed at someone else, but occasionally it has been aimed at me.

man-leering-at-womanWhen I think about this, I have to laugh.  I understand, at least on some level, why women give men this look.  I suspect there will come a point where I am giving a man that look too (or at least I hope so because that will mean I am passing).  Men, no offense, but when you find a woman attractive, you really can appear like some horny animal and you don’t even realize it.  When you look at her and act that way, that’s what leads to you getting THAT look.  Now, women have their own expressions that let you know they are interested in you…but men…you should have someone video tape you sometime when you are watching a woman walking down there street.  It’s pretty comical and sad at the same time.

I’ve gotten that look more over the past couple of years as I really began accepting myself, realizing that I HAD to transition and beginning this journey.

RBFI actually have to laugh when I get the glare from a woman I may be watching walking down the street or that I am looking at in the elevator at work.  I have little doubt they are thinking my mind is going to the gutter…and no comments on that statement from my friends reading this.  In fact, without her knowing me and the fact I am transitioning, I don’t fault her for giving me “the look.”  Crazy thing is, my thoughts are completely innocent when I get that look.  And NO…I am not sitting there thinking about these woman sexually! Minds out of the gutter, guys!

I’m a people watcher.  I always have been.  I have always watched behaviors a great deal throughout my life.  Now, I am admiring women on a very different level.  When a woman catches me looking at her, my thoughts are not focused on how she would look naked.  They are focused on things like…

  • What a cute skirt!
  • I love that blouse!
  • That dress really brings out the color in her eyes.
  • I wish my butt looked that good.
  • Will I have that kind of shape when I am dome transitioning?
  • I would kill to have her hair.
  • I wonder if I will be able to walk as elegantly as she can in heels?

Girl TalkThose are the thoughts I have.  Now, with my close friends, I can look at them and verbally express those thoughts.  I can look at my RL friend Shannon and say those things.  But Shannon was one of the first people I disclosed to and Shannon doesn’t even think of me as having ever been male anymore.  Shannon sees me as a woman, period.  So those comments, they just trigger girl talk and she and I will laugh for hours over those sorts of things.  The woman on the street…while my features are starting to soften and I am noticing subtle changes in my body now…those women have no clue at this point what is going on with me.

Leering ElevatorI don’t get offended when I am given that look.  In fact, I don’t blame women for glaring at me like that.  Having watched so much behavior in my life and studying behavior as part of my masters degree, I understand why men get those looks from women.  Sorry men…having been witness to those conversations you would never have in the presence of women, you often deserve it.  The good thing is we women love you anyway. 😉

I will continue to get those looks, at least for the time being.  And its okay.  In time, I will be able to say to another woman, “Those heels are adorable!  May I ask where you got them?” and it will be a perfectly normal conversation between two women.

❤ , Tiff

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